from

I think the most clever part of this was when I said to you ‘I love you.’ That’s right, for everything else we accomplished tonight, that was the very most cleverest thing.

You disagree, you say? You would. You disagree with everything. You call me a stupid stooge, my little love sponge. That’s why things turned out like they did, because you thought I was stupid, but it’ll be better off like this, you’ll see. We’re going to get along so much better now. And ‘I love you’ was still the most cleverest part.

I got the idea from a girl at work.

Oh, you know, Kelly. The one with no boyfriend. See, that doesn’t stop her from telling other people how to handle their relationships, not at all! The letter thing, that was her idea....

Order the anthology Malicious Deviance